oh well... the philosophical first day of school has come and gone =/

i think last night impacted me quite a lot... this is what happened...

i have just finished blogging on my reflections for the holidays, in a sense talking to God...

then i hear a nice song on my music player then i decided to play my guitar and worship till past twelve; into the new term

just as i am setting up the equipment my mom comes in and sees that the comp is still on, even though its as good as off because i wont be using it anymore. she gets pissed and yells at me. i tell her that i was doing my reflections, she says why didnt i do my work earlier?

she stomps out of my room without saying good night

i sit there with the guitar in my hands, so overcome with sadness that i totally lose my mood to play anymore... i was really upset

so i just sit there, then this really peculiar thing happened...

my fingers just started plucking

like wow... i dont know but i think like i expressed my feelings through my fingers subconciously as i was too upset even to say a proper prayer to ask for comfort and understanding... perhaps i also talked to God through it?

i ended up just doing that for an hour, sitting in my chair, staring blankly at nowhere in particular, sometimes closing my eyes, but the music carried on

oh well i dont know but i'm just getting so tired that my mom wont even let me explain and just jumps to conclusions.. fancy yelling at me over something like that and when i am just feeling so emotional

i hate it

but at least i didnt go to sleep angry